The Flood (the finale)
Noah sniffing for signs of life - rather than sending a raven
Welcome to my blog: The Canine Bible! Here, I translate the book of Genesis as if God is human and the humans are dogs.
Part 3 of the Flood story. In the Bible, Noah sends a dove and a raven to see if there is land, but in the dog version, Noah sniffs for any sign of remaining mutts. Also, instead of building an alter to the Lord, dogs gift their Lords in other ways…
1 But the gods remembered Noah and his bowls of food and all who were with him in the dog house, and they began to send the dog catchers away.
2 Now the river had been freezing up again and the water slowly receded into ice.
3 As the dog bodies finally decayed or washed away after the 150 days, the dog house stood as a beacon on a hill.
4 After 40 days, Noah scratched a hole in the cypress wood and sent out a howl, and it echoed off the dog house walls with no other dog to return it.
5 Then he set out to sniff the air to see if any dogs roamed the surface of the earth.
6 But there was no canine smell in the air because the dog catchers had snatched up so many mutts; so Noah returned his snout to the dog house.
7 He waited another 7 days before daring to sniff the air again. When Noah had sniffed deep that evening, there was the smell of fresh urine on the fence post! Then Noah knew that the dog catchers were done with their mission.
8 He waited another 7 days before sniffing the outside air again, but this time no mutt would dare approach the god’s dwelling.
9 By the first day of the first month of Noah’s 61st dog year, the dog catchers had left the land. Noah walked out into the fenced yard of his dog house and could smell that the scent of the mutts had all but dried up.
10 Then the gods said to Noah,
11 “Come out of the dog house, you and your bitch and your pups and their bitches.
12 “Bring out your bowls and whatever dog food you have left in them so that we can refill them and multiply your food intake so that you will be fruitful and increase in number.”
13 So Noah came out, together with his bitch and his pups and their bitches. Every bowl they had with them came out of the dog house in their jaws, one after the other.
14 Then Noah squatted and dumped a great offering to the gods, taking some of all the lamb, pork and chicken he had eaten and offered it to the gods.
15 The gods took one sniff of that pleasing aroma and said in their hearts:
16 “Never again will we curse the ground with so many dogs. Even though their heart is pure, their bowels are disgusting and fowl right from puppyhood. But never-the-less, we will never again seek to destroy every mutt as we have done.
17 “As long as the earth endures
seedtime and harvest,
cold and heat,
summer and winter
day and night
will never cease.”
