Chapter 4: The Stud Book

PEARCE FRANK C S - THE KENNEL CLUB STUD BOOK

Welcome to my blog: The Canine Bible where I translate the book of Genesis as if God is humanity and humanity are dogs.

Why is there racism in the world? Maybe because bloodlines, race and image is very important to God. This trickles down to us in how we value pure bred dogs over mutts. We have designer dogs that carry the names of the people who designed them and God seems to have a similar plan for people. A chapter like this is often skipped in church or Sunday school but I chose to translate it anyway because after all… a stud book is a stud book.

Also, I hope you love how I translated the epic long years these people lived in the Bible down into dog years! It took some math but I found it helped me fathom such a long life better when I was imagining having a dog for 80-90 years.

As always, I’d love to hear your questions and thoughts! If you like what you are reading, check out my zines. Some of these chapters are illustrated!

1     This is the written stud book of Adam’s line.

2     When the gods formed dogs, they made them in their likeness. The gods shaped them, both the Stud and the Bitch and blessed them calling them “dogs”.

3     When the Stud, Adam, had Seth whelped unto him, the pup was in his image. Adam sired many other pups but it was Seth who carried the desired traits and image the gods desired. The Stud died at 93 in dog years.

4     When Seth had lived 10.5 dog years, he sired a stud named Enosh who carried on the desired traits and image desired. Seth had other pups and lived 80.7 dog years before he died.

5     When Enosh had lived 9 dog years, he sired Kenan who carried on the desired traits and image desired. Enosh had other pups and lived 90.5 in dog years. And then he died.

6     When Kenan had lived 7 dog years, he sired Mahalalel who carried on the desired traits and image desired. Kenan lived to be 91 in dog years before he died.

7     When Mahalalel was 6.5 dog years, he sired Jared who carried on the desired traits and image desired. Mahalalel lived to be 89.5 in dog years before he also died.

8     Jared lived to be 16.5 dog years before he sired Enoch who carried on the desired traits and image desired. Jared lived to be 96.2 in dog years and then he died.

9     Enoch lived 6.5 dog years when he sired Methuselah who carried on the desired traits and image desired. After siring Methuselah, Enoch learned to walk with the gods on a leash. For over 30 dog years he walked with them and had other pups. When Enoch was 36.5 in dog years, Enoch was walking with the gods and then was no more because the gods took him away.

10  When Methuselah had lived 18.7 dog years, he sired Lamech who also carried on the desired traits and image desired. Methuselah had other pups and lived to be 96.9 in dog years before he died.

11  When Lamech had lived 18.2 dog years he sired a stud. The stud was named Noah and it was said that Noah “will bring comfort to us from our painful toil and labor of our paws caused by the work we are cursed with by the gods”. Lamech lived to be 77.7 in dog years and then he died. 

After Noah was 50 years old in dog years, he sired a litter of three studs who all carried on the desired traits and image of the god’s desire. Their names were Shem, Ham and Japheth.